7 Reasons Complaining Is Toxic

 

I admit that I sometimes complain, but I shouldn't. 

Complaining:
 

1. makes us focus on the negatives.

2. makes us discouraged.

3. makes others discouraged.

4. doesn't solve any problems.

5. can easily become a habit.

6. It dulls our light (our witness) in the world:

“Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.” Philippians 2:14-15 

7. It steals our peace:

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things...And the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:8-9

This verse tells us to adjust our focus, and let me suggest one way to do that:

Read a passage like Psalm 103:1-13 and remember God's benefits: His forgiveness, healing, redemption, renewal, love, compassion, justice, etc. You might want to memorize verses 10-13:

“He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.” 

If that doesn't cheer you, nothing will!

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For more encouragement, see Accentuate the Positive and Negativity Isn't Based on Circumstances.

WISDOM FOR LIFE: Do you know the story behind my book Wisdom for Life? You can read it HERE. 

LIES IN DISGUISE: Check out the subject of each chapter, the endorsements, and the important purpose of Lies in Disguise HERE.

 

I also encourage you to sign up for a free subscription to Bible Love Notes HERE.

BLN

Let Rosemary Remind You of God's Loving Care

God is a marvelous Creator, building beauty, practicality and complexity into so many details of creation.

For example, I did some research on the bristly, pungent little herb rosemary and found it has multiple benefits—it not only flavors foods, but it may help improve memory.

I'm no expert on herbs, so I'm not trying to promote rosemary. But it's a tiny reminder of God's infinite wisdom and glory seen in the details of His creation (Romans 1:20). And if rosemary improves our memories, the most important thing we can remember is God's love for us!

So let me suggest this memory exercise: When you read the Bible, write down all of the situations when God rescued, forgave, renewed, helped, and led His people. You'll need a large notebook!

And don't forget to also write a list of the times in your own life when God rescued, forgave, renewed, helped, and led you.

Remember these things often, especially when you are feeling low. Never forget His patient, loving, long-suffering, and redemptive love for you.

"Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts…seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done…" Psalm 105:1-5 

The purposes God designed for the herb rosemary are nothing compared to the wonderful purposes He's designed for each of His children (Ephesians 2:10).

Remember that every day and give thanks!

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For more on this subject, see 4 Things Christians Should Write (or not write) and Do You Have a Happiness Diary?

Source: Health Benefits of Rosemary

 

 

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Is Empathy Becoming a Thing of the Past?

Empathy means “feeling another person's pain” even if you've not experienced their situation. 

Without empathy, we're more apt to be rude or insensitive and less likely to apologize.

Sadly, lack of empathy is a growing problem in our culture where self-esteem is promoted and forgiveness is often replaced by boundaries. (See Avoiding Difficult People Makes Us a Difficult Person.) 

But empathy is important to God:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Philippians 2:3-4

“Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” Galatians 6:2-3 

When someone is hurting, it's important that we try to put ourselves in their shoes and consider what challenges they might be facing. Best of all, we can ask God's help in rejoicing with those who rejoice and mourning with those who mourn (Romans 12:15).

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To do a short Bible study on this devotion, check out today's Bite Size Bible Study. And I also recommend the one-minute devotion, Romans 12:15 - Rejoice and Mourn.
 

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Lies in Disguise: Unconditional Love

When I say, “God’s love is better than unconditional,” I usually get skeptical looks. Many (most) people think calling God’s love unconditional is the highest compliment. But it's not.

I've written about this before, but it's important to revisit it because it's so ingrained in Christian thinking.  

Unconditional means “not subject to any conditions.” If we buy something with an “unconditional warranty,” the seller will replace or repair it no matter how it's damaged.

If we have an unconditional marriage, we'll not be bothered if our spouse has affairs or beats us.

If God loved unconditionally, everyone would go to heaven, have the same rewards, and never be punished. God would feel exactly the same about serial killers and martyrs. Jesus would never say:

“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.”  Matthew 10:37-38

Everybody is worthy if love is unconditional.

We might like an unconditional warranty, but only evil people would like a God without standards of goodness, holiness, and justice.

It's amazing how a word that contradicts Scripture is so stubbornly defended by Christians. Our first priority must be God's Word. No Greek or Hebrew words in Scripture mean unconditional, nor is it found in any legitimate translation.

God's love is better than unconditional.

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Chapter 7 in Lies in Disguise carefully explains the secular origin of the description “unconditional love.” 

It offers multiple Scriptures which accurately define God's love (2 Timothy 2:15). It explains the actual meaning of the Greek word agape. 

And it explains the many heresies that have developed from defining God's love as unconditional.

If you are ready to be challenged, encouraged, and equipped, this chapter alone is worth your investment in Lies in Disguise. And it’s a great chapter to discuss with your small group or a Christian friend.

💙 Currently available from the publisher with a discount: Lies in Disguise. Also available on Amazon and CBD. And in the UK: CLC-UK or Eden UK.

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Lies in Disguise: Dishonoring Parents

“Our world faces an epidemic of broken family relationships. Some statistics show that as many as 25 percent of American adults are estranged from their parents, with the children most often initiating separation. 

“The self-esteem movement helped create this problem by making people feel they deserve parents who constantly praise, support, and affirm them. The psychology of boundaries followed close behind this movement to encourage judgmental ultimatums. 

“If you look for resources on parent-child estrangements, you’ll find many of them blame parents and sympathize with the adult children. But let’s look at this issue logically and biblically, not culturally.” ~ Quote from Chapter 6 in Lies in Disguise. 

Modern culture encourages a victim mentality, and parents are often the scapegoat. When Christians buy into this worldly belief, they lose more blessings than they can imagine. But that is exactly why Satan promotes so many lies in disguise about the parent/child relationship.

Ephesians 6:2-3 explains that honoring parents is a command with a promise attached. And while we may hear sermons on forgiving our parents (Mark 11:25), we rarely hear sermons about honoring them by giving up our selfish desires (Philippians 2:3-4) and doing the hard work of reconciliation when we have problems (Matthew 5:23-24).

Instead we hear half-truth claims that we should set up boundaries with parents who are annoying or difficult as if God only wants us to obey His commands when they are easy. 

If we want to be blessed and grow in our people skills, we'll quit listening to these half-truths and listen to the full truth of Scripture. 

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This command has been heavy on my heart for many years. I'm grateful that I started studying the importance of honoring parents when I was in my late 30s, so I could show honor to them before they died. But my concern for this command has grown as I've seen the effects of the self-esteem and Boundaries movement in the lives of friends and family. It is so clear that Satan loves to see people avoid mature people skills and lose God's blessings.

This is why I've included this subject in my Lies in Disguise book. When we understand the concept of honoring parents, we bring blessings into our lives and the lives of our children. And we are also equipped to counsel other Christians about the healing and joy that comes through honoring parents.

To read about the other half-truths addressed in my book, please see Lies in Disguise.

💙Currently available from the publisher with a discount: Lies in Disguise. Also available on Amazon: Lies in Disguise. And in the UK: CLC-UK or Eden UK.

BLN

4 Ways to Stop Drinking the Poison of Bitterness

"Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."  ~ unknown 

I've struggled with resentment at times, and I know this quote is true!

Some signs of resentment: 

1. You can’t think about the person without pain or anger.

2. You suffer when you hear something good has happened to them.

3. In your mind, you have repetitive arguments with them.

Resentment is poison to us spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

So how do we quit drinking the poison of resentment?

1. Believe it's poison—understand it will give Satan a deadly hold on our hearts (Ephesians 4:27).

2. Let unproductive thoughts trigger immediate prayers for our offender (Matthew 5:44).

3. Quit trying to figure it out and move forward in our walk with the Lord (Philippians 3:13-14).

4. Be willing to give up our desires for the sake of the gospel (Philippians 2:5-7). God will bring about His purposes in His time.

“Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good” (Romans 12:21).

Help us, Lord, to do these things!

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See You May Not Realize You're Bitter and Don't Keep This Kind of List.

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God Enjoys the Process of Our Growth

I was watching my grandchildren play when my granddaughter climbed to the top of the slide for the first time. She was bursting with excitement at her accomplishment. 

It was fun to share this little moment with her.
Suddenly it struck me: God enjoys those little moments with us as well.  

God could mature us instantly. Or He could send us straight to heaven when we accept Him as Lord. 

But God created a process of growth we call sanctification. Sometimes it's tough, but there are also wonderful moments of excitement, moments we can acknowledge and enjoy. 

Just as we experience joy when our children learn to walk, talk, tie their shoes or make it to the top of the slide, God enjoys our spiritual growth (Psalm 147:11 and Zephaniah 3:17).

We are truly “God’s workmanship” (Ephesians 2:10).

Let's give Him reason to rejoice today.

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To read a couple of other one-minute devotions inspired by interaction with my grandchildren, see God Hugs and God Enjoys Us.

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Culture Loves Choices. God Loves Truth.

Our culture puts a high value on our “right” to make choices, which often means our “right” to define good and evil according to our individual standards.

God gives us a choice: “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve” (Joshua 24:15). But he's not “pro-choice” regarding anything that is a choice between right and wrong.

We have this choice: choose to follow Him and live in the light or choose not to follow Him and live in darkness. God values right choices, and He warns against harmful, dangerous, and evil choices. 

Many in the world live out Proverbs 14:12: “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.”  

Sin separates us from God (Isaiah 59:2), causing our prayers to hit the wall (Psalm 66:18). Sin leads to self-deception (James 1:22-23), and eventually leads to a seared conscience (1 Timothy 4:2).

God gives us the same advice He gave Cain about choices:
 
“If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”  Genesis 4:7

God's commands protect our hearts and souls.

Our culture loves choice. God loves truth—and He also loves us!

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You will also enjoy:
Cain Provides a Good Bad Example
How a Loving God Keeps Our Fingers from the Flames

For a short Bible study on this devotion, check out Bite Size Bible Study and see what advice God gave to Cain.

BLN

Lies in Disguise: I Love Me

A half-truth that has greatly influenced our culture and the modern church is this one: “Our well-being depends on high self-esteem.”

For the last 40-50 years, our world has been proclaiming the importance of praising, affirming, and approving ourselves and others, especially our children. 

The unsaved world cannot accept the fact that we are fallen, sinful human beings, so they've created the self-esteem lie-in-disguise to claim that all human problems, whether violent crime or depression, are caused because people don't think highly enough of themselves.

Scripture says something quite different:

“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” Romans 12:3

This self-esteem philosophy is loosely related to the “judge-not” half-truth that tells us not to judge sin and sinners. And studies show that self-esteem philosophy has created a world of self-assured, self-confident adults who lack motivation and self-control. It's also promoted the boundaries movement because self-assured people tend to end relationships if they aren't constantly affirmed. 

Christians must understand that we are called to humility and self-sacrifice, not pride and entitlement. 

“Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” Jesus, Matthew 10:38

It's important that we understand the way this self-esteem lie is tangled into many “Christian” teachings. We need to replace self-esteem with God-esteem to have a valid view of ourselves.

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My book Lies in Disguise exposes this destructive half-truth, using understandable explanations and multiple Scripture references to unpack the self-esteem movement and replace it with the God-esteem movement.

Lies in Disguise is available:    

At a discounted price from the publisher for a limited time: Lies in Disguise. 

On Amazon. 

And in the UK: CLC-UK or Eden UK.

 

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Lies in Disguise: The Most Popular Half-Truth

One of the most prevalent lies in disguise corrupting the modern church is the “judge not” half-truth. It has been cleverly promoted by misusing countless Bible verses. And it has been repeated so often that most Christians innocently believe some aspect of this lie.

Just as Satan presented half-truths to Eve in the Garden, he is promoting this powerful half-truth in the modern church.

The “judge not” heresy is presented as a way to promote love and grace, but it does just the opposite. It actually disables the body of Christ from doing things God commands us to do (1 Corinthians 2:15-16). 

We need to understand the way “judge not” is used in Scripture, specifically in Matthew 7:1-5. We need to know what, how, who, and when we are commanded to judge. And we need to recognize and reject the misunderstandings that the “judge not” teachings have promoted.

You may be surprised how many other half-truths this “judge not” lie has produced.

How can we avoid these lies in disguise? We must read our Bibles, judging all things by God's perfect truth. We must be willing to give up these popular half-truths when we find out they're misleading Christians. We can use free online Bible study tools (e.g., Bible Hub or Open Bible) and study God's Word with other believers (2 Timothy 2:15).

Are you preparing yourself to respond to “judge not” lies in disguise? Ask God for guidance in improving your understanding of His Word (1 Peter 3:15).

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Many popular teachings in the church "blur" the truth. 

In my book, Lies in Disguise, Half-Truths Many Christians Believe, I spend several chapters exploring this dangerous “judge not” lie and the other half-truths it promotes. It's an important starting point for identifying half-truths:

✓ Understanding Matthew 7:1-5

✓ Things we are commanded to judge

✓ Considerations when judging

✓ Judge-not misunderstandings

 

Lies in Disguise can help you understand biblical judgment and equip you to explain it to others. It's a good book for individual and small group study because it's filled with Scripture, and each chapter includes a Digging Deeper section with thought-provoking questions.

 

It's available at Amazon and CLC in the U.S. and at Equipping the Church and Eden in the U.K. 

BLN