The last few years have been the most challenging years of my life in regard to health, relationships, and other difficulties. Add a weak immune system and Covid limitations on top of it all.
With the Lord's help, I’d been handling things fairly well until a new challenge hit me hard a few weeks ago and I totally slipped into my "old woman mode" (Ephesians 4:22-24). I had the worst temper outburst of my life, and I took it out on my husband who wasn’t the problem.
I didn’t throw anything or get violent, but I yelled and expressed the ugliest words and thoughts. I’m not exaggerating.
Fortunately, my husband (who loves me dearly) was the only one who witnessed it.
I asked his forgiveness.
I asked God’s forgiveness.
I struggled to understand how I could fail so miserably after knowing the Lord for more than 45 years.
And I reminded myself:
1. I could have done the right thing (James 4:17).
No matter my difficulties, I’m filled with God's Spirit. If I make excuses for my outburst, I'm calling God a liar (1 John 1:9-10).
2. I must never let down my guard (1 Corinthians 10:12).
3. Because forgiveness is a gift I don’t deserve, I'm motivated to do better out of love for the Lord (1 John 1:9).
Confession is good for the soul.
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1. I've confessed my sin honestly without excuse (Psalm 66:18).
See How to Say "I'm Sorry" and Our Need for Repentance.
2. I've dwelt on pertinent Scriptures (Hebrews 4:12; Colossians 3:16).
See A Practical Method for Overcoming Sin.
3. I've asked an "accountability partner" to pray with me (James 5:16).
Hi Gail,
ReplyDeleteI think most of us can confess to having meltdowns. I appreciate your honesty and genuine regret. Even though God doesn't agree with that behavior, He certainly understands it. Mercifully, He was human once. God knows what's hurting you so badly and is already working to heal it in His own time. We can all learn from this and I can certainly relate. This experience will refine your faith even more!
Thank you for your understanding and kind words.
DeleteThank you!
DeleteHi Gail, it means a lot to me that you share your weaknesses and struggles. Some Christians come across as not having any, and that's hard for most of us to relate to. Your continuous writings, even through hard times is appreciated. Love the verse James 4:17, I didn't remember that one, that's sure convicting! Prayers for God's peace dear sister!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Heidi, for your encouragement.
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