Part 6: Was Naomi a Good Mom-in-Law?

Even though the Book of Ruth has greater meaning than simply a mother-in-law/ daughter-in-law relationship, it still contains a godly example for daughter-in-laws.

In Ruth: 
1. Naomi is bitter, unappreciative and selfish*

2. Ruth honors Naomi because of God’s character, not because of Naomi’s character
 
3. God honors Ruth with one of the highest honors possible

1. Naomi is bitter, unappreciative and selfish*
After Naomi’s sons and husband die, she tells her daughter-in-laws to return to their families, saying:
  
“It is more bitter for me than for you, because the LORD’s hand has gone out against me!” (Ruth 1:13)  

From the Bible Knowledge Commentary:

“Naomi seemed a bit insensitive to the grief of her daughters-in-law. She thought that her case was more bitter than theirs because they still had potential for childbearing.” 

Naomi also insists her daughter-in-laws return to their evil pagan culture.
The Bible Knowledge Commentary:

“Naomi was aware that the decision to return meant the continuing influence of the Moabite gods...(1 Kings 11:7)...Naomi did not make it easy for Ruth to come to faith in the God of Israel.”

When they get to Bethlehem, Naomi says:

"I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty.” Ruth 1:20,21 

Bitter and self-focused, Naomi tells everyone she's come back “empty” even though Ruth has given up country and family to accompany her.

2. Ruth honors Naomi because of God’s character, not because of Naomi’s character
Ruth (a Gentile) follows Naomi because she's become a God-follower: “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” (Ruth 1:16). 

Next, Ruth takes a difficult, humble job to feed Naomi and herself. When Boaz finds her in his fields:

“Boaz replied, 'I’ve been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband—how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before. May the LORD repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.'” (Ruth 2:11,12) 

People were talking about Ruth, admiring her faith and loyalty to her bitter mother-in-law.

While Naomi expresses concern for Ruth's future, her plans show little sensitivity toward Ruth. In 3:10 Boaz says Ruth’s kindness in marrying him instead of a younger man is an even greater kindness than returning to Bethlehem with Naomi. He recognizes Ruth's godliness.

3. God honors Ruth by putting her in the linage of Christ
Ruth marries Boaz, they have a son, and everyone recognizes Ruth's value: "For your daughter-in-law, who loves you and who is better to you than seven sons, has given him birth’" ( Ruth 4:13-17).

And God honors Ruth by making her a mother in the line of the Redeemer, Jesus.  See Matthew 1:1-17.

I doubt God will ask you or me to leave our country or take a humble job to feed our mother-in-law. But the story of Ruth encourages us to love our mother-in-law out of reverence for God even if she is bitter, unappreciative, and selfish. She may not notice, but God will! And we will grow closer to God in the process.

Homework: Read the book of Ruth and ask God to speak to you specifically about your relationship with your mother-in-law...or your mother, if you have these same difficulties with her.
all passages NIV

* This is not to say that Naomi didn't have faith or didn't behave more godly at other stages of her life, but she had allowed life to leave her bitter at this point in time and she freely admitted it. I've behaved like Naomi at times, so I'm not condemning her without acknowledging my own sins, but they are sins just the same.

The Bible Knowledge Commentary: Walvoord, J. F., Zuck, R. B., & Dallas Theological Seminary. (1983-c1985). The Bible knowledge commentary : An exposition of the scriptures (1:420). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books  

For more insights on this subject:
Part 1: Bless Your Marriage: Love Your Mom-in-Law
Part 2: Mother-in-Laws Who Mock Your Values  
Part 3: Mother-in-Laws Who Interfere 
Part 4: Having God's Heart for Your Mother-in-Law
Part 5: Disinterested In-Laws 
Part 7: Six Things I Did Wrong

Another great post on this subject by Lindsey Bell: 7 Ways to Get Along With Difficult In-Laws 

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