Disinterested In-Laws

What the Bible says about in-laws, Why your in-laws might be disinterested
"If there’s a little extra money in the gift budget for parents, I’ll put it toward my folks. After all, they are more generous than my husband’s parents.” 

“I usually send the kids' drawings to my folks because they're more interested in our kids than my husband's parents are."

“If there’s a few extra days of vacation, we’ll spend it with my folks. After all they visit us more often.” 

Ever thought or done any of these type of things? I have. They seemed right. But after the Lord started working on my heart in this area, I realized that most people respond to the way they are treated. 

Although I was convinced I was merely responding to my in-laws when I treated them second-hand, the Lord showed me two important facts: 
1. Because my perspective was skewed, I overlooked hurtful things my husband and I had done that were causing my in-laws disinterest. They were actually responding to me, not the other way around. 
2. It didn’t matter how they responded. God commands my husband and me to honor my in-laws.

After treating my in-laws like second-hand parents for a number of years, I had to win them back. When I started to treat them as they deserved, they didn’t respond immediately because I hadn't built their trust. I could have used that as another excuse to quit trying, but God just kept reminding me to honor them. And the results were wonderful!

Homework: Think about the bottom line issue: are we willing to obey God and trust Him more than we trust ourselves? Are we willing to quit treating him like a second-hand God and honor His commands? 

“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Ephesians 6:2-3 

For more insights:

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  1. Thank you for this inspiration.

  2. Excellent post and oh so very true! Thanks for this post! This looks like a GREAT and MUCH-NEEDED series!

    thanks so much for linking up with Marriage Monday at Yes They're All Ours!

  3. wow thanks! great insight. i'm feeling a little convicted and that's a good thing!

  4. Thank you for this post. Food for thought.

  5. When I read this post, I felt as though you have silently observed me at times. Thank you for such clarity and convicting thought. I am still trying to overcome some deep-seated resentments in this area. They are not unfounded, but the responsibility to live above them still sits squarely on my shoulders.

  6. Thanks for much for sharing an important message:) Thank you for your support of Freedom Fridays! Have a great day:)

  7. My dads parents never truly excepted my mom, they say they did but even as kids we knew better. We knew they loved us, but just figured mom wasn't good enough for them.
    When I started dating Jason, I didn't really expect to be welcomed into the family the way I was. I love his family, and when a family member passed away a year after we were married, I cried as hard as they did, and I still miss him. Having in-laws who except you without question, is probably one of the greatest blessings that has come from marrying Jason.

  8. Beautiful, truth-filled words! I'm grateful for my in-laws for many reasons and even though things haven't always been perfect, they raised my amazing husband and they adore my children and that, in addition to God's commandment, is reason enough to show them respect even when we don't always see eye to eye. Thank you for sharing your wisdom in this area with us at Inspiration Friday!

  9. Ouch! but the truth! You are so right on that most people respond to the way they are treated.Thanks for sharing.



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