Takers and Givers

Adult children usually fall into one of two categories with their parents: Givers or Takers. Which are you?


In The Tribute, Dennis Rainey writes about the fact that few adults are willing to give up their self-centered lifestyles to develop their relationship with their parents. Some never visit their parents and others visit but expect their parents to cater to their wishes.

“As children, we are by nature takers instead of givers. And as adults, we can become too selfish to take responsibility for our relationship with our parents. It just takes too much effort. But our parents need us to become givers.”(1) 

Jesus confronted a group of Pharisees who created religious “loop-holes” so they could neglect their parents. He said, Their worship was a farce (Matthew 15:1-9).

How we treat our parents is an indicator of our respect for God. If we treat our parents with interest, respect, gratefulness and kindness, God notices!
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(1) The Tribute by Dennis Rainey, Word Publishing, 1994, page 104

Some additional resources that will give you wisdom in this area:
The Blame Game --1-minute devotion
No More Lip Service--1-minute devotion  
Adults and the Fifth Commandment by Gail Purath
God Didn't Ask the Impossible, only the Incredibly Difficult, an article written from a Jewish perspective with good thoughts for the Christian as well

Note: Children who have been physically or sexually abused by parents must seek godly Christian counsel in handling their adult relationship with their parents.
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Adult children usually fall into one of two categories with their parents: Givers or Takers. Which are you?


8 comments:

  1. I definitely want to be a giver and it's such a fight to NOT be taker I think it is definitely a condition of our heart. Such a great thought today!

    Carly

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  2. Hi Gail - maybe that is why God makes a point that we should honour our parents if we want long life. Great reminder to be givers and not takers.
    God bless, hope your knee is doing better. No, I PRAY your knee is healed in Jesus name!!!!

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    1. Yes, Tracy, I think there's a lot behind that command we've missed. Thanks for your prayers for my knee. It's healing but saw a doctor today who said I need 10 days of rest..completely off of it. I told him that's not possible because of some ministry commitments and he said do the best I can...there's no permanent damage and I'm praising God for that. Could have been so much worse. Must have been an angel there buffering my fall...and must have been some reason that I needed to slow down for a few weeks.

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  3. Absolutely!

    One more important perspective on this: Our children pay more attention to our behavior than our words. Consequently, we ignore our parents at our peril, for our children will very likely treat us similarly when they are grown up.

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    1. You're so right, Kim. It goes back to the Golden Rule of doing for our parents what we pray our children will do for us.

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  4. I agree with Kim. I've also spent hundreds of hours with seniors as their chaplain and I would have to say that many of us have forgotten all the passages in Leviticus which command us to give honour, respect to widows (often older women) and to invite them to be part of our family celebrations. God honours this respect. Thanks for linking up with us at NOBH.

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    1. I'm sure that your perspective makes you painfully aware of our problems in this area. Thanks for sharing, Kelly.

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  5. This is a good reminder!! I was going to call my parents :-)

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