Unappreciated Provider

Why complaining about money can be damaging to our marriage relationship.l to husband as provider
“I wish we could afford that but we can’t.”
“We make less than most of our friends.” 
“I can’t wait until we can afford to do that.” 
“It’s so hard pinching pennies all the time.” 
“We’ll probably never own a house.” 
“I wish we could afford a new car.” 

I said things like this many times before the Lord convicted me that it was not only a form of complaining, it was also a form of disrespect for my husband.

My husband was our family provider, and my remarks, especially when they were repetitious, were a subtle way of saying “my husband is not a good provider.” 

Once I realized this, God taught me to be content, count my blessings, and thank my husband for his provision even when his jobs were low-paying. 

And avoiding negative comments about our income made me feel better too. 

There are so many areas of our lives where Paul’s words in Philippians apply:  

“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” 
Philippians 4:11-13, NIV 

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  1. Amen, Gail! You are so right about how our words can easily bring disrespect to our husbands. Godliness with contentment is great gain! 1 Timothy 6:6. So glad you shared this on The Alabaster Jar.

  2. Thx for the reminder to appreciate our husbands:-)

  3. An excellent tip. Contentment comes quite easily when we begin to be thankful for what we have. When I realized how many times I said, "I need," I was ashamed. Especially because they weren't really needs--they were merely wants.

  4. Yes, a man is to love his wife, and the wife is to respect her husband. Wow what a wonderful reminder!

  5. This is so incredibly true!!! And it comes right on the heels of me complaining this morning about the price of health insurance : (

  6. That's a great reminder. The provider husbands acutely feel the pressure of making enough money and when they hear comments like that, it adds to the burden.

    Elizabeth@Warrior Wives

  7. Because we chose to homeschool our children, by default my husband and I decided to do without much of the "stuff" that would have gone along with two incomes. Thankfully, my husband has never pressured me to work so we can have the big house, newest cars, and latest gadgets. Instead, we have chosen to invest our resources in our children. I don't think I'll ever regret that. Instead of complaining about what we don't have, we realize that every choice comes with results, and our prayer is that the choices we made will impact eternity. Thanks for reminding me of how much I have to be thankful for in my good husband.

  8. Oh, what a good reminder to reign in "wishful" thinking!We were talking about that the other day -how important it is to a man to be the provider for his family and have his wife support him in that!

  9. Wow, I have thought about this before but never considered that it may be disrespectful to my husband. I am always looking for ways to respect him as that may be his greatest need and this is an excellent way. Thanks!

  10. What a great reminder! I'm not perfect, but I always try to be thankful for the provisions that my husband is able to afford.

  11. How very true. While we may not mean to be demeaning or disrespectful at all, it is good to stop and think about how our words might be sounding or coming across to our husbands. Thanks!

    I hopped over from Lessons From Ivy.

  12. Excellent reminder. Our husbands need to be lifted up and encouraged. Thank you for this convicting post!


  13. Oh, how I wish that I could be made mute before I say these things sometimes. On the other hand, it is also difficult to know how to respond to the unkind comments of family members who think that we could be doing,"so much better financially if you would just go back to work!".

  14. Good reminder that was timely for me to read today. Thank you!

  15. A wonderful reminder, I love my husband so much and need to work on this.

  16. Lots of truth in your words, this morning!

    Thanks for sharing!

  17. This is such a sweet reminder. Thank you so much!!

    I love the picture of your husband and baby :-) Weren't we all so young in 1973!!

    Thanks again for linking up with WholeHearted Home Wednesdays at Haven of Rest.

  18. I have never thought about it this way, I have to admit. But I definitely will be from now on. Often I don't complain intentionally, but because I'm nervous and stressed and I never really thought about what kind of message I must be sending him.