I often read articles that talk about the importance of our parents' role model. It's true. Our parents teach us a great deal about marriage relationships.
However, many of these articles go too far.
They inspire fear by claiming that parents with bad marriages produce children who also have bad marriages.
If we are parents, we should do our best to model a healthy, Christian marriage (Colossians 3:23-24). It will help our children learn appropriate ways to relate to their future spouses.
But we're wrong to conclude that the failures of parents are automatically duplicated in the marriages of their children.
My parents had a warm and loving relationship, and I am the only one of their children who has not been divorced. I've also known children whose parents had bad marriages, but they have healthy marriages.
We can't blame our parents for our marriage failures. Jesus in us is greater than any poor role models we've encountered in the world (1 John 4:4).
He is able to turn the worst negatives into good, if we cooperate with His plans (Romans 8:28).
Did you receive bad marriage modeling? Did your spouse? Ask God to teach you how to have a godly, loving marriage. He can do it!
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- Not every failed marriage is the fault of both spouses. Some marriages end because one person in the marriage chooses to walk away from the marriage, or when one spouse becomes abusive or adulterous.
- Ezekiel 18:20 says parents aren't responsible for the sins of their children, nor are children responsible for the sins of their parents. God is a redeemer!
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Funny that you should mention Doug Fields, since I mention him in my Monday post too, Gail. :)
ReplyDeleteI feel that my parent's weren't a very good model for me in my marriage. In fact, I write about this a lot on my blog. It is so hard to overcome those bad patterns, but I like how you point us to God--asking him for the help we need. I know that's made all the difference in my marriage. Great thoughts!
Thanks, Beth. I look forward to reading your post today.
DeleteYes, I know it is harder when our models have been poor ones, but I definitely have seen some examples of very godly spouses who had those kind of models. I was blessed with parents who genuinely loved each other and modeled that for me, but that's not the norm for most folks.
My husband's parents are still married (happier than ever) after 56 years but I did not see a good model of a healthy marriage in my childhood. Now as we try to model a healthy marriage for our 7 kids, we are muddling through but getting better at it as we go.
ReplyDeleteEven those of us who had good models (I was blessed with parents who genuinely loved each other) still do some "muddling." Don't be discouraged...keep at it. God will bring beauty to it all.
DeleteGreat useful information, I would sincerely request to post this useful information in Social Networking sites like Facebook so that many will be benefited through this. I believe teaching our children to find God's will in each and every simple task of life can provide them Godly married life.Prayer is the most preeminent requisite for the happy married life.
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