"How to spot a narcissist? It’s easy to do…like fishing in a barrel." ~ Psychology Today
Our modern emphasis on self-esteem might be our biggest hindrance to Christian growth.
Because of their self-ish focus, self-esteem teachings are popular with our fallen human nature (Ephesians 4:19-24). And despite the fact that they contradict Scripture, they've become accepted by many Christians and promoted in popular "Christian" teaching (2 Timothy 3:1-5).
This means increasing numbers of professing Christians are telling themselves lies.
For example:
Lie: God says to love others as I love myself, and I can't do that until I first love myself.
Truth: This is a ridiculous interpretation of Mark 12:31. This passage is about fair treatment of others, not "feeling good" about others or about ourselves.
God says self-denial, not self-esteem, is the key to healthy Christianity (Matthew 16:24; Philippians 2:3-4; Romans 12:3).
We should esteem God, not ourselves. When we do that, we end up feeling valued by the only One who matters.
To avoid the many errors of the narcissistic gospel, check out Bible Love Note's archive Biblical Self-Esteem. I especially recommend The Dangers of Self-Love.
If you'd like to do a short Bible study on this devotion, check out today's Bite Size Bible Study.
Bible Love Notes
Narcissistic bebavor has been very much been excepted in Christianity. I have personal studied, lived with and worshiped with a few people, provefessing to be a christain and finding nothing wrong with this behavior. When confronted,the most commin response is "We are supposed to love one another and over look each others faults". This in itself is very desturbing to me. If we can not be held accountable for the behaviors that hurt others,then how can we expect others to be any different. I definitely have my iwn crosses to bare, but i continually pray for everyone struggling with this sickness, believer or not.
ReplyDeleteI believe it!!! I live with it everyday! Thank you. How does one accept and deal with it and not get sick over being treated badly and that person having everyone believe I'm doing the wrong?
ReplyDeleteGood question, Deb. We can't change the sins of other people, but we can always "move in the opposite spirit." By that I mean we can live biblically even when those around us are living narcissistic lives. We shouldn't allow them to use or abuse us, but we can respond to their rudeness with kindness and consideration.
DeleteI recently dealt with a woman who completely fit the narcissistic mind set. She saw no problem acting rude and childish toward me and others, pouting, saying snarky things, selfishly expecting us to do what she wanted without consideration for the feelings or desires of others. I endured her behavior and forgave her and continued to treat her kindly and be an example to her.
But then she became especially rude toward me. Perhaps she was jealous. I'm not sure. But she repeatedly accused me of doing things I hadn't done and claimed I was intentionally trying to embarrass her or hurt her, which was not even a tiny bit true.
At that point, I felt the Lord prompted me to kindly explain that she was judging me more harshly than she was judging herself, but she didn't respond. She pretty much excused everything she'd done.
Since she is involved in some of the same Christian groups, I've continued to treat her kindly. I've made sure that I forgive her and treat her with consideration, but I avoid being with her more than necessary. And true to her narcissistic problems, she treats me coldly because she is unwilling to honestly admit her rude behavior and critical spirit.
If she were a family member, I would take additional steps to get along, but she is not a family member, so I feel like the Lord just wants me to avoid her.
My bf is a narcissist he belittles me and when I try to give him advise he said I'm putting him down. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells all the time. I'm the one that says sorry all the time just to keep the peace. The Lord has blessed ���� me with peace though I just can't handle being belitted. I love him.
ReplyDeleteDear Gail, I would strongly advise you to get some Christian counseling in regard to your relationship with your boyfriend. It doesn't sound healthy.
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