Did you know that God wants you to call your mom (and your dad too)? It’s been on my heart to write about this, and I believe it's on God's heart too.
This is always important, but even more so as our culture moves toward selfish values.
1 Timothy 5:8 and Matthew 15:3-9 command us to care for the physical and financial needs of our parents.
But God isn’t simply interested in physical and financial needs.
He wants us to humbly value others and take their interests into consideration (Philippians 2:3-4).
He gives special emphasis to our relationship with our parents:
“Honor your father and mother—which is the first commandment with a promise—so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Ephesians 6:2-3
Regular, dependable contact is a essential element of honor.
In a world that judges, devalues, and neglects parents, we can be “children of God, shining like bright lights” (Philippians 2:12-15).
When we bless our parents, we bless God and we bless ourselves. It's a promise!
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Notes:
↪ Do a google search on benefits of social interaction for seniors, and you'll find it helps with everything from lowering blood pressure to decreasing the symptoms of dementia.
↪ If your parents aren't alive, why not think of another lonely person you could encourage with a call, email, or text message.
↪ Jesus had harsh words for those who neglected their parents (Matthew 15:1-9).
↪ See 3 Aspects of Honoring Parents.
Note: Children who have been physically or
sexually abused by parents must seek godly Christian counsel in
handling their adult relationship with their parents.
I disagree with this. Not all mothers are the same. My mother always attacks me severely when I call her, that is why I stopped calling her.
ReplyDeleteHi Jesus,
DeleteWhen you read Ephesians 6:2-3, does it say
“Honor your father and mother but only if they are always nice to you and easy to get along with.”
If we can't do hard things for the Lord, then our faith is very weak.
Shall we tell parents they can neglect difficult children?
Shall we tell husbands they can be unfaithful to difficult wives?
"If you falter in a time of trouble, how small is your strength!" Proverbs 24:10
You can go to thousands of websites and read millions of articles encouraging us to blame our parents and dump them because they aren't that nice. You won't find that in the Bible.
People whose parents physically abuse them should not put themselves in harm's way, but everyone can withstand criticism if they respond in kindness and forgiveness.
Romans 12: 17-21: Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Gail, I agree that we should not abandon our parents, but should we always stay silent
ReplyDeleteand be verbally abused every time we try to reach out to a "difficult" parent? It seems there is a difference between someone who is verbally abusive and simply hard to get along with. Some adult children have been abused by these parents all their lives and it seems as though there should be some kind of boundary. Verbal abuse, name calling and accusation can sometimes be as bad or worse than physical abuse. It seems that you think that a parent can do no wrong and should be able to treat their adult children absolutely any way they want. I do agree that we as a society have a throw away attitude toward our parents and that is wrong, but giving a blank check to a child, spouse, anyone and saying, "no matter how much you verbally abuse me, I will take it" helps no one!
Dear Unknown,
DeleteI definitely don't believe that parents are always right and good.
But our anti-God culture has turned parents into scapegoats. Satan is always happy to oppose God's principles, and he knows that honoring parents brings us spiritual blessings even when it's hard.
It's become very popular for adult children to use the term "verbal abuse" to exaggerate their problems and justify cutting off their parents.
Are there verbally abusive parents? Yes.
Are there adult children who disrespect and dishonor their parents for no reason? Yes.
And I believe there are more judgmental children than abusive parents.
If a parent is physically abusive, the adult child should avoid being alone with that parent. But if a parent is annoying and negative, they need to learn how to deal with annoying and negative people.
Christians are supposed to keep forgiving, keep praying, and keep trying to improve relationships unless the other person cuts them off. They don't need to be their parents' closest friends in order to honor them. But they need to consider their parents' needs and desires, not just their own.
"If you falter in a time of trouble, how small is your strength!" Proverbs 24:10
I personally know a woman whose father blamed her for her sister's sins throughout his life. he blamed her for one sister's repeated temper tantrums and he blamed her for another sister's affairs. When she became a Christian, she graciously and respectfully told her father he was wrong when he made these accusations, but she continued to show him respect. God didn't change her father, but he changed her. She could have cut him out of her life because he sometimes made her life difficult. But, if she'd done that, she'd never have seen how fully God could remove all bitterness from her heart and give her the strength to deal with this difficulty.
Sadly, I personally know other adult children who have cut their parents out of their lives for much less. And they've hurt themselves more than they've hurt their parents.
If we protect ourselves from difficulty by ignoring God's commands, we are great fools.
Our faith is not about taking the easy way and having everything go smoothly. God doesn't say, "honor your parents as long as it's easy for you."