Patient Perspective in Marriage

If couples practice these 3 things, they can make their marriages healthier and happier.

Please read the 1-minute devotion Cookie Thieves for a humorous introduction to this subject. It's well worth your 60 seconds.

There are times I’ve judged my husband just as the woman judged the "cookie thief." I’ve jumped to conclusions, not waiting to get my facts straight, moving forward with a distorted view.

Patience is important in our marriages and in all of our relationships.

These 3 things can make our marriages healthier, happier, and more patient:

1. Timing is important.
If possible, we shouldn't discuss problems when we're tried, busy, or stressed by other situations. We can wait patiently for the best timing.

2. Words matter.
We should pray that our words and the inflection of our voice are gracious and calm. We can patiently choose our words.

3. Careful Listening is important.
We should listen and ask questions to avoid jumping to conclusions. We can patiently give our spouse the benefit of the doubt.

These Scripture passages can encourage us in these areas:
💙 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19
💙 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Ephesians 4:2

💙 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12

💙 Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city. Proverbs 16:32

This is one of my marriage posts. I hope you'll sign up for my 1-minute devotions HERE.

If couples practice these 3 things, they can make their marriages healthier and happier.


  1. excellent! good advice about communicating with your husband. It's SO important to think and pray before we speak.

  2. I've heard this one and it's so funny every time I hear/read it, Gail! And it really does drive home how easy it is to jump to conclusions based on appearances. I needed this reminder today, because I'm going into a difficult meeting where keeping a positive, non-judgmental attitude is crucial for me!

    1. Thanks so much for linking up at WW, Gail! I really appreciate it, my friend!

  3. My husband and I try to remember to ask ourselves, "Does this action typically characterize him/her?" If not, and a perceived behavior is out of character, then that's a pretty good reason for us to look a little closer. Often we discover that we have misinterpreted or jumped to a conclusion. Like when my husband went looking for his chocolate milk and assumed I had selfishly drank the last of it, when in reality, I discovered it had spoiled and poured it out to save him! Of course, there are plenty of similar stories he could tell on me with the same conclusion. . . :)

  4. Great illustrations. I definitely am guilty of accusing without the facts from time to time. Thank you for the reminder.

  5. This is a good story to re-visit - thanks for sharing! And it's so true that we need patience to make the communicating mean something.

  6. Popping over from Women Living Well. I do quite like that story. Have a blessed day. Tara.

  7. I love that story, and the lesson it holds! It is a good challenge to work harder to understand before forming our conclusions. Love hopes the best.

  8. So true! It's so easy to be judgmental with those we hold dearest, isn't it? Love this reminder.

  9. Love your points at the end. I struggle with jumping to conclusions. Need to pray about that...

  10. I loved this story and smiled (to myself) as I read it. I am so glad that I skipped up to read it on Missional Women where I shared my links a few rows down. I will keep these thoughts in my heart as the weekend begins.