The first Christmas after we were married, my husband and I were on a tight budget. He was a college student working part-time at a minimum wage job and I was a breakfast waitress working for tips.
We decided to spend $15 on each other for Christmas.
When Christmas morning arrived, my husband opened the best gift I could get him for $15 (I've always been a bargain hunter), and I opened my $50 leather jacket.
That’s when I discovered my husband’s way of expressing love was sometimes different than mine.
When I share this story, some folks assume I was angry about his choice, but I wasn't. I could see how sincerely he wanted to show me his love.
Through the years, I’ve learned not to say I admire something expensive in a store unless I want to receive it for a gift later.
There are well known books about people's "love language," and while I believe they contain some truths, it's not always beneficial to categorize people. Instead, I encourage you to be aware of how your spouse expresses love and seek to "speak his language in that area" sometimes as well as expressing your love in ways that are meaningful to you.
After 50+ years of marriage, my husband loves to tell folks about the Christmas I budgeted so I could buy him a colored TV and a Porsche. This was in the early 80's when we still had a black and white TV and the Porsche was a remote control toy. 😊
Gail,
ReplyDeleteI like the diagnostic questions. The answers, I agree, will be very helpful in pinpointing a spouse's (or adult child's or friend's) love language, hence helping us better speak love to them. Thanks for the reminder :)
Great example of the Love Languages. Found your from the Mommy Moments Monday Blog Hoppin':)
ReplyDeleteThaleia from www.Something2offer.com
This is a great reminder as we enter into the Christmas season and want to get the best gift for our spouses, Gail. I don't know that I've contemplated my husband's love language in reference to the gifts I'm giving him. Silly, I know. But I'll have to give this a try! :)
ReplyDeleteI love Gary Chapman's book! as the wife of a law enforcement officer I have found that hubbys love language is definitely acts of service.. He loves to come home to a clean home, happy babies and dinner on the table... maybe a little chauvinistic to the outside world, but I don't mind it one bit :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I found you through Mommy Moments :)
whitneycroy.blogspot.com
All of which I really need to work on, thanks for sharing, I love to hear Gary Chapman...
ReplyDeleteHave a super blessed day!
Love
Great post! I'm not very patient with people who don't play by the rules -- especially if they were involved in setting those rules.
ReplyDeleteThis is something my daughter (30) and I talk about often. Acts of service are what touch my heart when received and what I prefer to give. My husband prefers giving gifts, receiving words of affirmation.
ReplyDeleteAgain, thank you for linking! ♥
So glad you brought this up - my husband and I had a steep learning curve in this department, because gifts are one of his love languages and very absolute last on my list. It has been a hard road to learn what seems so simple, but we are both well blessed by our progress!
ReplyDeleteGail,
ReplyDeleteI loved the story about your husband and the leather jacket. Our daughter is a gift-giver. Even the smallest token of a gift makes her day! Thanks for sharing at Deep Roots At Home!