My husband lettered in golf in high school and went to the CO State finals his senior year. When we were first married, he liked to spend quite a bit of time on the golf course. In this area of his life, he still saw himself as a single man without marriage and family responsibilities.
But when we had children I asked him to quit playing golf on Saturdays. After being the primary care-giver to our small children all week, I wanted my husband around on weekends. I felt it was important for our relationship and for our family.
My husband agreed because he loves me, but I knew he missed the golf course. Then, one Friday afternoon many months later, we both had an “ah-ha” moment: I suggested he play golf that Saturday. It was my “gift” to him. But he surprised me by saying he’d rather spend the day with me and the kids. He had given up his single-mind set for a more mature and responsible family mind set.
It showed both of us how God can change our selfish desires when we submit them to Him.
This is true in so many areas of home and family life. As wives and mothers we are constantly faced with decisions to act like we're still single and childless or act like a mature wife and mother.
For some women this will mean keeping a cleaner house. For others it will mean not obsessing about a meticulous house (an impossibility with small children).
Some women need to quit acting like they're single and become more dependent on their husbands. Others need to be willing to take some responsibility off their husband’s shoulders.
These are only a few examples of ways that we can act like we're single and neglect our responsibilities in our home and marriage. But when we take the right steps to change and give up our "single ways" to Him, He not only strengthens our character, He changes our desires.
Have you seen this play out in your marriage or your life? Leave a comment and tell me about it!
P.S. Now that we are empty-nesters, my husband has taken up golf again, but he is very balanced in his approach to it.
I was inspired by a similar story called Giving Up Good Things by Elizabeth at Warrior Wives. Why don't you check it out for some additional thoughts on this subject. I know you'll enjoy it.
1000 Gifts: #106: I'm so grateful that God changes our desires when we submit them to Him.