Self-Righteous Silence

There are some popular self-righteous excuses for avoiding calm, mutual discussion in troubled relationships. This 1-minute devotion gives the Biblical view of such problems. #RelationshipProblems

If we've had repeated discussions with someone about the same problem and we haven't been able to resolve it, we may need to agree to disagree, thoroughly forgive each other, and find other ways to heal the relationship apart from discussion.(1)   


However, refusing to discuss problems in the first place is a sign of self-righteous pride. Matthew 5:23-24 says reconciling with others should be an important priority in our lives. And Luke 17:3-4 says we should be willing to forgive repeated offenses.

When both parties enter discussion with an open mind, listening carefully to the concerns of the other and admitting when they've been careless and inconsiderate, nothing can stop reconciliation! (See Empathy and Scriptures on Correction.)

If one person has the right attitude, they may actually turn the other person around. But not always.

The important thing is that we do our best to seek peace and reconciliation (Romans 12:18). If we refuse, our silence is sinful.

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Does the Bible specify that discussions must be face-to-faceNo. In fact, Paul handled some important relationship problems via written letters. While face-to-face conversations are important in marketing, they are not always possible or best in relationships. Each person processes things differently. Writing allows careful choice of words and more organized thoughts, but it lacks voice inflection. What's best? It depends. The attitude behind the words is more important than the method.

There are some popular self-righteous excuses for avoiding calm, mutual discussion in troubled relationships. This 1-minute devotion gives the Biblical view of such problems. #RelationshipProblems
 A bad excuse: "I don’t want to discuss things, but I'll pray about it."
Unless we are suggesting prayer before and during discussion, this is an unacceptable excuse. James 2:14-17 talks about using prayer as an excuse when it's within our power to solve a problem or meet a need. See The Prayer Excuse.

(1)  It's important that we have done our best to have  mature, humble discussions. 

Scripture tells us that two discussions with a divisive person is enough when it involves doctrines that cause divisions in the church (Titus 3:10). Making two open, honest attempts to reconcile a problem before moving on might be the right thing to do, but that verse is specifically dealing with doctrinal issues, not relationship problems.

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There are some popular self-righteous excuses for avoiding calm, mutual discussion in troubled relationships. This 1-minute devotion gives the Biblical view of such problems.

Bible Love Notes

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