Recently, I realized I was bitter.
Typically, I think of a bitter person as gritting their teeth with hatred and being guilty of epicaricacy.
That’s definitely the worst stage of bitterness.
But there are lesser forms of bitterness that manifest as sadness, discouragement, irritability, and negativity. If we don’t deal with them, they can turn into the grit-your-teeth kind.
Some more subtle signs of bitterness:
1. Thinking about the offense often.(1)
2. Having arguments with the offender in our thoughts.
3. Repeatedly referring to our offense in conversations.
4. Making sarcastic remarks about our offender.
So how did I determine to deal with my bitterness?
1. Every time I think of the offense, I’ll pray for my offender.
Matthew 5:43-48
See Set Your Mind or Set Your Alarm.
2. When a thought about the offense enters my mind, I’ll recite or read Scripture.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5
See 3 Ways to Take Your Thoughts Captive.
3. Once I’ve shared the offense with my prayer partner, I won’t repeatedly talk about it.
Philippians 4:8-9
See Overcoming Negativity.
4. I won’t make sarcastic or caustic remarks about the person.
Colossians 4:6
See If You Can't Say Anything Nice, Do What Mom Said.
If you have a problem with bitterness, I encourage you to deal with it now.
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(1) See The Power of Negative Self-Talk.
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This is a tough one for me. My husband says that I am like a "dog with a bone" as far as not being able to let something go when I have been wronged. It is interesting, isn't it, that we want GOD to forgive us for our sins, but often find it difficult to forgive others for their failings? Particularly when those failings impact our lives in a negative way. Anyway, thanks for this post. I am in the middle of something like this right now, so I will pray about it.
ReplyDeleteHi, Gail. I hope you're doing fine
ReplyDeleteWe have a WhatsApp Bible study group. I read this article and wanted to share it with the group but there's no "easy way" to do it.
So, my suggestion is that you could do this "easy way" for us to share it directly to Whatsapp. I will share the link with them.
Thank you so much for all the work that you do. You're such a blessing
Saludos from Mexico.
Bitterness is addictive too. If you don't run from it, soon you'll be immersed in it. Plus, don't become bitter when others have been offended. Grace is supplied amply to the victim of the offender. But to those that just take up the offense...it's harder to find since it wasn't your offense in the first place. God is in charge of those who offend and their victims...you aren't. Trying to put yourself in that place causes you a bunch of trouble. Hey...Learned this the hard way. Pray for them. Give them Godly counsel but don't take up the battle yourself.
ReplyDeleteHi Gail, as per usual, awesome practical advice. I asked myself those 4 statements and some I need to work on, and some are coming right. Great tool to check one's heart for the root of bitterness.
ReplyDeleteGod bless
Tracy
I have experienced all stages of bitterness but sweetness and bitterness cannot come from the same well; I use to wonder why I could never be happy. One day a miracle happened and was able to let go of the bitterness and now I can enjoy the sweetness that only Jesus can give. Love and hate cannot live together. If we want love, if we want peace, we MUST let go of the hurt and the anger. Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing them to continue to hurt you, not at all, you can stay away from abusive people but if you carry the hurt they gave you, you might as well stay with them because you’re allowing them to hurt you every single time you think about it or what you want to do to them. You are still giving them the opportunity to hurt and control you. Once you let go of that which is cutting into your soul, then God can heal you. In addition to that, while you hang on to the hurt, it begins to fester and effect all the people around you. I use to wonder why nobody wanted to spend time with me but I was always fuming and I was a real stinker to be around. Since I forgave, I have peace and love and people actually want to spend time with me. Love yourself and your family enough to let go of the hurt and watch what Jesus can do to help you learn to love others.
ReplyDeleteWonderful testimony, Chica!
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