Is Love a Feeling, Decision, or Duty?

It's important to know what Scripture teaches about love. Is it a feeling, a decision, or a duty?

We use the word love so easily...I love my husband...my new curtains...my grandchildren...caramel lattes. 

Love can mean "I'd die for you," or "I enjoy this drink for breakfast." That's because we typically use the word love to describe a feeling.

But is it a feeling? 

Yes, it is.

But it's more than a feeling because feelings come and go, wax and wane. 

I have feelings of love for my husband, but my love for him also includes:

  • A decision: I want to be faithful to him. 
  • A duty (commitment): I want to be a good wife even when I don't feel like it.
Our love for God, if it's genuine, also contains all three:
  • A feeling: "I love you Lord, my strength" (Psalm 18:1).
  • A decision: "This is love for God: to keep His commands. And his commands are not burdensome" (1 John 5:3).
  • A duty (commitment): "Even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine" (1 Peter 1:6-9).

Like the psalmists, our feelings for God can get confused at times, but our decision and duty remain firm. See Psalm 73 for an example.


It's important to know what Scripture teaches about love. Is it a feeling, a decision, or a duty?

Bible Love Notes

29 comments:

  1. Dear Gail
    Loving God and committing to Him everyday is so necessary that I think it later becomes as natural as breathing! We cannot and don't want to live a moment apart from Him!
    Hugs XX
    Mia

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  2. I really like your definition of Love, not always a feeling, but a committment, a decision and not just when convenient.

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    1. Your husband certainly paid a sweet tribute to you below, Hazel.
      : )

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  3. I love my wife, and between the two of us we have committed for the long haul. 63 years has brought us struggle, but also joy, I can't think of another woman I would rather have than my sweet Hazel.

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    1. What a sweet tribute, Robert. And 63 years...wow! My husband and I celebrate 43 next month, so you have 20 years on us. Congratulations!

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  4. I was just thinking of this a couple days ago when I read 1 Corinthians 13. The word love in our language can have such shallowness or depth. This was such a good post, Gail (and so were about 15 others I caught up the other day on my tablet.

    My husband I have 'only' been married 34 years :-)

    I appreciate so much that you get your linkup party up so early. Thanks for hosting again.

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    1. 34 is still way past the national average, Judith, and I know you have many more to come.
      Yes, 1 Corinthians 13 really gives us a different view of love than our culture's view.
      Thanks for linking up.
      : )

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  5. Agape, self-sacrificing love, like that of Christ, is what we should emulate, but it can be so difficult! Thanks for the great post & for hosting & God bless.

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    1. Yes, Laurie, we have a great model for love don't we?
      Thanks for stopping by.
      Gail

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  6. Oh yes, love is an action, we make a decision every day to love one another! Love the part about reaffirming our commitment to the Lord, especially the part about loving Him and committing to Him with our time! thanks for hosting today.

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  7. Fun Friday Blog Hop

    I'm a new follower too

    here is my Fun Friday

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  8. You make a good point about the word "love." It has been bandied about so much that it has lost some of the meaning of the true feeling.

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    1. Yes, we use it for too many things, don't we?
      Thanks for stopping by.
      Have a blessed week,
      Gail

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  9. Love is definitely all those things, Gail. Too often we fit it into a box when it needs room to expand through ALL areas inside us--feelings, thoughts, actions, everything. Thanks for sharing this.

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    1. Yes, Lisa. We are always trying to redefine and simplify complex issues, aren't we? I guess that's another sign that we are finite and our Creator is infinite.
      Thanks for stopping by.
      Gail

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  10. I love that, Gail. We are finite and He is infinite. One day all will know that. Kim

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  11. I "love" how you wrote that love can mean I'd die for you or I would pay $5 for you. I realize that I throw that word around way too casually at times. I want to love like Him. Thank you for this post!
    Have a great weekend,
    Joanne

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    1. Yes, Joanne, the differences in "love" can be huge.
      I think we all throw it around too casually. And I suppose that's not the real problem. The real problem is misunderstanding what genuine love is.
      Thanks for stopping by.

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  12. HI Gail! I think you really pointed out the difference between love as a feeling, and love as a choice. It doesn't sound very romantic, but the choice one is the way to go sometimes! I don't always have that 'in love' feeling for my husband, but I know that , just like you, I'd go to the max for him.

    Great post!
    Ceil

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  13. My post yesterday fits perfectly with this! I talk about what Godly love really is! This is great! Glad I found you! :)

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    1. I need to check out your post, AJ. Love it when God confirms certain truths to us through multiple voices.

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  14. A pastor friend of mine often says "Right feelings follow right actions." I've found that to be very true. When not feeling loving, I can choose to act in a lving manner anyway...and loving feelings usually follow. And then, there's God's involvement...part of truly loving seems to be asking Him to show me how He sees people.

    Good post!

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  15. I "love" the way you point out three ways we should and can love our Father, Gail. And I'm going to take your gentle nudge to recommit to Jesus today. I feel like I need that refocusing in many ways. Thanks so much for your wisdom, my friend and profound and powerful encouragements!

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    1. I can thank you for the same, Beth, as you often speak to my heart through your posts and also through your comments.
      Bless you,
      Gail

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