Did You Marry the Wrong Person?

What if you married the wrong person?
I married my husband when I was 19 years old and not yet a Christian. My reasons for falling in love were pretty "secular": I enjoyed his personality, I was physically attracted to him, I felt comfortable with him and liked how he treated me.

We've been married 42 years, so I suppose it's too late to ask:

Did  I marry the wrong person?

There are many of you out there just like me. You married your husband for worldly reasons. So what does that mean? Could you have married the wrong man? Is there someone out there who God intended for you? Should you look for him?

I found a quote that has a wonderful answer to this question:
“Although you do want to marry someone you are basically compatible with, marriage has a lot less to do with marrying the right person than it has to do with doing the right things with the person you married.” 
Alisa Bowman, author of Project: Happily Ever After

I might reword this: a healthy marriage has more to do with being the right person than marrying the right person.

There's a time we should ask if the other person is the right one to marry. But once we are married, we need to quit asking that question. No good comes from it. 

But great good comes from asking God to make us "the right person" for our spouse.

"the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Galatians 5:22,23

How To Get Your Relationship Back on Track - Woman's Day

This is one of my marriage posts, but the main purpose of my blog is 1-Minute devotions. If you'd like to find out how easy it is to sign up for a free subscription, you can do that HERE. Thanks! Gail

14 comments:

  1. I think the notion that people have soul-mates is a huge factor in divorce. People get married and at the first sign of trouble think, "Oh no I missed my chance, this isn't my soul mate, he must still be out there somewhere"

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    1. Yes, soul-mates are gained by walking, together, through trials...not by "discovery."

      Our society has a huge misconception of this notion.

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  2. I really needed to read this. I've been struggling with this in my own life.

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  3. I like this~ as a single mom trying to not marry the wrong man, I sometimes wonder if there is a right man~ and ~ am I really the right woman for any man?

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  4. There really is this huge misconception that everyone has a "soul-mate." I think Hollywood or Satan or both got this myth started! ha! I agree wholeheartedly that it takes being the right person rather than finding the right person. Thanks so much for this encouragement!

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    1. I completely agree, Beth! We don't "discover" a soul-mate. Rather, we learn to be a soul-mate, as we walk, together, through the trials of life.

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  5. This is great! I love hearing this kind of perspective shed on marriage, as our culture gets it so backwards. Great point!

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  6. I think you are right on. Really any non-abusive marriage can work and last if both parties really want it to.

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  7. This is a great answer to the age-old question. There are several people I know who are recently divorced and most of them say they married the wrong person. They are blaming their mates for the failure of their marriages without taking responsibility for their part.

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    1. Sometimes, divorce really is the fault of only one party. Sometimes, one partner is doing all they possibly can do, while the other partner simply chooses to be hard-hearted.

      I'm not saying that's the case with your friends...I have no idea whether it is or not.

      However, the myth that "divorce is always the fault of both parties" is exactly that...a myth.

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  8. Thank you for this post. I needed this as of this moment.

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  9. A very good, encouraging post, Gail!

    Thank you for exploding our societal myth about the need to "discover" a soul-mate.

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  10. Very well said.
    Even if you married the wrong person, he's the right one now!

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