The Responsibility for Good Parent/Child Relationships

If we refuse to deny ourselves, Christ says we're "unworthy" to be called His disciple (Matthew 10:38). And one important indication of our devotion to Christ is our willingness to deny ourselves in our relationship with our parents (Ephesians 6:2-3). 

God's commands aren't suggestions, and they aren't based on ease and comfort. They aren't at all like the world's values (Ephesians 4:17-24; Colossians 2:8).

Sadly, many Christians give more grace and respect to their unsaved neighbors than they give to their parents. They treat their neighbor as they'd want to be treated, but not their parents (Matthew 7:12).

Scripture says our devotion to God is fake if we place a low priority on our responsibilities to our parents (Matthew 15:3-9). It says that before we offer our gifts to the Lord we should put our relationships in order (Matthew 5:20-24).(1)  

If we genuinely love Jesus, we'll obey Him (John 14:21). He's our example of self-denial, forgiveness, and perseverance (Hebrews 12:1-4). That means:

1. We'll judge ourselves first, identifying ways we've failed to honor our parents (Matthew 7:1-5).

2. We'll give our parents forgiveness and grace (Colossians 3:12-15).(1)

3. We'll be willing to deny ourselves even if it means returning good for evil (Romans 12:14-21).  

The strength and quality of our faith isn't revealed in the easy things. It's revealed in self-denial.

"If you falter in a time of trouble, how small is your strength!" Proverbs 24:10 

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(1)  Matthew 5:20-24 talks about the importance of underlying attitudes. Many aspects in our culture promote a judgmental attitude toward parents. I strongly recommend that people avoid the Boundaries teachings for that reason. Bible Love Notes has a collection of articles called Are Boundaries Biblical? This collection reviews books and online articles from the Boundaries authors. I especially recommend Blame Your Mom and Is Your Family Dysfunctional to understand the Boundaries teachings in regard to parents.

(1) Children who have been physically or sexually abused by parents must seek godly Christian counsel in handling their adult relationship with their parents.  

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