Self-pity is a prison cell.
Recently a woman emailed to tell me I was a "fraud" and my devotion “Open Wide Your Mouth” was a lie.
In rude, angry, bitter words she listed her problems, insisting God doesn't answer prayer.
I wrote back, told her I was sorry about her difficulties, assured her God wanted to help, and told her I’d pray for her. I also told her she’d need to give up her anger and bitterness to make room for God's salvation and comfort.
When she replied with angry profanity, I realized she was quite committed to staying in her prison cell of self-pity.
At times, I’ve chosen that cell myself.
But it’s not mistreatment or difficulty that puts us there.
Cells of self-pity are locked from the inside.
The key is always available and bears this inscription: "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me" (Luke 9:23).
Self-pity is self-imprisonment. Let's not go there!
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Today's Bite Size Bible Study on this devotion will help you identify the cause and effects of self-pity so you can avoid it.
My MIL was unwilling to "unlock the chains of self-pity". She held onto hurt, anger, and hatred over something that had happened over 40 years ago. Not only that, but she pilled on more self-pity and held onto grudges like they were her best friend. Instead of seeing me, and her grand-daughters as a gift, and something to live for, she accused me of taking her son away from her.
ReplyDeleteI tried to talk to her, many times, about forgiving and letting go. She said she never could/would, the anger and hatred was too strong. I told her how important she was to all of us. All she would ever say was "ya, ya, I know", but then turn around and say no cares her. Ultimately it cost her her life, in more ways than one. She missed out on spending time with her family, she missed out on getting to really know her grand-daughters, and living life in general. She gave up on life; her life consisted of sitting her a chair basically feeling sorry for herself and blaming everyone else, so much to the point her body shut down, and she died in her sleep at to young of an age.
God will help you, if you let Him. He helped me heal from childhood abuse, and more. I only wish I could have helped my MIL see that.
It is so sad when someone refuses to leave that prison cell. Bless you for encouraging her the way you did. Even though she didn't listen, God was listening to your kindness.
DeleteAnd I'm sorry you had to suffer childhood abuse, but I'm so glad that you didn't let it put you in a prison cell.
God bless you!
Good Teaching.
DeleteWe can choose whether we want to be a victim or a victor. God's word says we've "been made MORE than conquerors", and that HE "always causes us to triumph". Playing the "blame game" keeps us out of the winners' circle.
ReplyDeleteOK, how does self-pity work logically?? Because it would be opposite of self-pity, but self-happy or whatever, well, pity is negative within that you feel sad for another's sadness, so it is empathy, so to give pity to another person. So, it is relate to sadness, but you put anger and jealous?? So, it is negative in high level, not low level, so pity is basically any negative. So, if you are angry that means you have self-pity. If you are angry to another person, that mean you pity them, that would be illogical because to be angry to another person mean you don't feel empathy to another person which it is called pity to another person. So, there is two kind of pity. Pity is good and pity is bad?? External pity is good and internal pity is bad? So, self-pity is over guilt that mean over sadness within self, so can't remove the negative so cause pressure within. But for anger, it is not guilt or it is lead beyond self-guilt, which it is hypercritical, which opposite of hypocritical, which under critical, but hyper- is over critical. So, create a double standard within so not trust another which it is compatible to angry because angry people do not trust, but happy people do trust. Happy people do accept the give and angry people do resist the giving. So, only trust itself, not to other. So, it comes down from guilt or/and no guilt and want to hurt others. So, it is about balance. Guilt is not trust other, so over guilt within. No guilt is not trust other and willing to hurt in one way, and another is self-assured that willing to do good in another. I guess holding grudges is willing to hurt. Well, not willing to hurt on same level as no guilt in doing bad stuff, like killing. If someone kill that person, and that same someone is not willing to kill anymore, so that person is good, so the person know that person that died from same someone that kill that person. So, the person that know the person which died holds grudges, but not willing to kill that person that kill the person which the person knows and holds grudges so react in negative way, but not willing to do go that negative that is killing, but it can happen at later time that grudges can increase to the person that did the killing. So, basically any negative within will grow or stay the same base on situation. Well, that negative will reduce the positive in other things that is seemingly unrelated, which it is relate, like the person that is not willing to kill, but did kill in past, so is connect with another person that accepts them, as a whole from past to present, and that person is a friend to another person that holds grudges. But the person that has no grudges is friend to a person that holds grudges, so they both can't be deep friend to each other, because the grudges is blocking so positive can't grow. Base on above about 'My Mil', I am sure that it was not a cause that lead to grudges which Kathy cause, but someone else cause it so it leads to misleading words like 'accuse for taking son', which that mislead words, so it is not accurate words, because of negative that lead to blocking of positive. It causes jump to conclusion easily that what angry people do, right. Not process to conclusion. With no proof.
ReplyDeleteHi Mellow,
DeleteI'm sorry, but I really don't understand what you're trying to say.
Self-pity is feeling sorry for ourselves.
It's not having empathy for others. It's self-focused and selfish and has no benefits for ourselves or for others.
And with God's help, we can overcome self-pity.
First of all I want to say thank you Lord for the Cross, Thank you for this,and we can't in self pity and be about ourselves,we have to take off self and pick up our Cross and follow Jesus 📖 Thank You
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