Self-Defense


“Please forgive me for what you think I did.”

We’re excusers, defenders, and egotists by nature—our fallen nature. Our knee-jerk reaction is self-defense. And as Christians we often Christianize it with "un-apologies"—some as creative and meaningless as the one above. 

And there are others:
  • “I’m sorry you were offended” a way to apologize without admitting blame.
  • “ I’m sorry if I did anything to offend you”— vague enough to keep our ego intact.
  • “Please forgive me, but….” giving us the ability to tack on excuses and accusations thus voiding the apology.
  • "You misunderstood" allowing us to justify rude or selfish acts by explaining our motives (i.e. it's not what I did, it's what I thought that matters).
We can’t do anything about others' un-apologies, but we can ask the Lord to free us from the bondage of our own self-defense (James 4:8-10; 1 John 1:8-10). 

He can help us to be genuinely sorry for our sins - sorry enough to repent honestly.
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See these 1-Minute devotions:  Forgive Me or Else (He "Apologized" for his Affair and How to Say "I'm Sorry"

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7 comments:

  1. I see myself in those ego-protecting apologies. I want to let Christ have my heart and be more humble. Self defense is enslaving!

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  2. Hi Gail - love love love this post, no apologies for that, lol
    God bless
    Tracy

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  3. So true. I try hard to apologize correctly, even when it hurts my flesh. Harder yet is to complete the sincere apology with the request, "Will you forgive me?". I find when I do this and the person responds with forgivness there is a complete clearing of the air more so than with an apology only.

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    Replies
    1. So true, Angie. The correct thing is to ask forgiveness, and doing that eliminates the opportunity for most of these excuses, doesn't it?

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  4. It is so difficult to give an truly honest apology. This was such a good post. A good reminder to be humble before God and others, especially our husband.

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  5. O Lord help me to be transparent be for you and others. Help my heart to be pure and to do what's right in your eyes and heart.

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  6. My ex husband would consistently verbally abuse our oldest daughter and I and never say he was sorry and he is/was a christian! Unfortunately, it was actions like this that turned her away from christanity.
    Not to point fingers only at him though because I've said the first one before!

    ReplyDelete

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