I’ve been a Christian for almost fifty years, and I’ve said stupid, thoughtless things at times because I didn't understand Scripture.
Sadly, some false beliefs are so ingrained in Christian culture that we don't understand they're biblically inaccurate.
And this is one: “What’s wrong with the world is that parents aren't properly training their children.”
But it doesn't stop there. Christian parents get an additional dose of guilt when a fellow believer incorrectly quotes Proverbs 22:6 as a promise. I’ve even heard a Sunday school teacher go so far as to suggest that parents who make their beds are guaranteed to have adult children who make their beds! See Errors Some Christians Believe.
My husband and I were imperfect parents, but we did our best to raise our children in the nurture of the Lord. After a great deal of false pride for our adult children's good choices and false guilt for their bad choices, we’ve come to realize that while we are responsible to God for how we parented, we aren’t responsible for our children's adult choices.
If we genuinely believe that parents are responsible for their adult children’s choices, then Adam and Eve would be the only sinners who couldn’t pass the buck. But wait … Adam actually tried to do that! See The Fourth Oldest Sin: It's Your Fault.
Here's what Scripture declares: Sin is always a personal choice (James 1:13-15). That's why good parents can have bad adult children and bad parents can have good adult children.
So let’s quit repeating this lie, adding insult to injury for those parents who did their best and who are already grieving their adult children's choices. And let's believe what Scripture teaches.
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For more on this subject, see Understanding the Concept of Original Sin. And to see what Scripture says about the Boundaries teachings which have become a popular way to blame parents and punish them: Are Boundaries Biblical?
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