Respectfully Saying No to Authority

In We Need It: A Submissive Heart, I explained that we honor God by honoring those God tells us to honor. In this devotion, I want to share a practical way to show a parent respect when you don't agree with them.

I was married with two adult children when we moved temporarily back to my hometown. My father, a retired contractor, felt we should buy a lot so he could help us build a house. Whenever he mentioned this, I told him we were too unsure of our future to do something that permanent. But he kept suggesting it.

Then, one day as I was praying, I felt the Lord convict me that I was not treating my father’s advice in an honorable way. I was treating it like the advice of a friend, but God calls us to a higher standard in our relationship with our parents.

So I went to my father, apologized for not taking his advice seriously, and told him that my husband and I would make it a matter of prayer. 

We took a week to sincerely pray about the situation and felt the Lord leading us not to build. When I explained this to my father, I could tell he appreciated the respectful way we'd handled it. He was finally able to accept our answer.

Honoring a person does not necessarily mean agreeing with them, but it does mean listening and treating their advice with respect.

I encourage you to consider how you interact with your parents. Ask God if there are ways you can be more respectful, grateful, or considerate. Sometimes it's not what we do but how we do it that matters.

💙Beyond 1-minute for those who want more:

While this devotion specifically addresses parents, the principle applies to others in authority as well.

Please look through the Scriptures below that encourage respect for parents, remembering that our respect for our parents is based on our respect for God's laws and not dependent on their "worthiness."

Proverbs 1:8: "Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching." 

Proverbs 23:22: "Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old." 

Leviticus 19:24: "Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD."

1 Timothy 5:1: "Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father."

1 Peter 5:5: "In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, 'God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.'" 

Philippians 2:3: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves."

And note this negative description of those who judge their parents unworthy of their respect: 

Proverbs 30:11-14: "There are those who curse their fathers and do not bless their mothers; those who are pure in their own eyes and yet are not cleansed of their filth; those whose eyes are ever so haughty, whose glances are so disdainful; those whose teeth are swords and whose jaws are set with knives to devour the poor from the earth and the needy from among mankind." 

 

Note: Children who have been physically or sexually abused by parents must seek godly Christian counsel in handling their adult relationship with their parents. 

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