A Wheel, Not a List

The Bible clearly tells us we must follow this priority list:
1. God
2. Spouse
3. Children
4. Extended family
5. Church
6. Community

Right?
Wrong!

We evangelicals have created many lists and formulas, but they don’t all come from Scripture. This is one example.

The only clear priorities in Scripture are these:

• "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself" (Luke 19:27).

• “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need” (Matthew 6:33, NLT).

A number of passages describe structure, authority, and responsibilities:

• Genesis 2:24 designates new lines of authority when a couple marries.
• Ephesians 5 and 6 compare the husband/wife relationship to Christ/Church, speak of nurturing children, and honoring parents.
• Galatians 6:10 tells us that the needs of fellow believers take priority over the needs of unbelievers.

But none of these passages or other similar passages create a clear, specific priority ranking.

Aside from God always being our #1 priority, priorities are somewhat "organic" (flexible, arising naturally, not easily predictable). 

Instead of a list, life is more like a wheel.(1) 

Christ is the center and each spoke represents a priority. As the wheel turns, different priorities take precedence.

Part of prioritizing is understanding the difference between needs and desires. Genuine needs must come before desires. 

For example, the needs of a sick child take priority over date night with our spouse. Job responsibilities sometimes take priority over family time. Caring for aging parents may take precedence over spending time and money on immediate family. Being obedient to Christ is the only absolute, unchanging priority.   

Desires can be harder to balance. We aren't called to give up all of our desires for the desires of others, nor are we called to fulfill all of our desires at the expense of others.

Philippians 2:4 says, "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." We aren't commanded to ignore our interests. Instead we are commanded to recognize that ours are not the only interests to consider. 

Has our evangelical list sometimes led to family idolatry? 

I believe it has. I know I have been guilty of making my family's desires too important at times. Consequently, ministry, church, friendships, community and extended family have suffered.  

But something even worse has happened to our Christian youth because of this priority shift... 

I talk about that in Part 2: Needs vs. Wants.

(1) This is not my original analogy. I read it years ago in a Christian publication but I'm not sure of the source.