The Low Self-Esteem Excuse

It’s popular to blame bad behavior on low self-image. I’ve heard it used to excuse rudeness, selfishness, arrogance, even murder.(1) 

But this belief is seriously flawed:

1. If a person genuinely has low self-esteem, they’ll be humble, feeling they deserve rejection and abuse.(2) 

Usually the term low self-esteem has nothing to do with feeling inferior. It's used to describe someone who feels they deserve more respect than they’ve received.(3)

2. We aren’t responsible for the abuse done to us, but we are responsible for our reaction to it. Are we willing to return good for evil and trust God to use evil for our good? (Romans 12:21; Romans 8:28).(3) 

3. Mistreatment is part of life. Christ was hated without reason, and He said we should expect the same (Matthew 10:22; John 15:25).

4. We gain a realistic view of ourselves by esteeming God and living according to His principles, not by building our self-esteem (Romans 12:3). See Research Shows Harms of High Self-Esteem.

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(1) If low self-esteem were a serious human problem, God would have addressed it in Scripture, but He didn't. Instead, God promotes humility and self-denial: Proverbs 29:23, Matthew 16:24, Matthew 18:4, Matthew 23:12, Galatians 2:20, Philippians 2:3, James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:6.  2 Timothy 3:1-5 speaks of self-love in a negative sense.

Besides the truths of Scripture, secular evidence also shows that building a person's self-esteem can have terrible results (e.g., Criminals Have High Self-esteem and Does the Criminal Really Have Low Self-esteem?). Self-esteem philosophy has created a culture of narcissism, but psychology remains deeply invested in it.

(2) In the rare cases where a person genuinely feels they deserve mistreatment, they need to be encouraged to have a realistic view of themselves, not an inflated view (Romans 12:3).

(3) The secular world doesn’t believe that men are born sinful, so they try to find excuses for sinful behavior. In their first conversation with God after the fall, Adam and Eve blame-shifted their sins—and mankind has been doing it ever since (See The Fourth Oldest Sin in the Book). The self-esteem movement is an excellent example of an entire philosophy built on this blame-shifting premise. We need to revisit the story of Joseph whenever we feel we can blame circumstances or people for our bad behavior. See this archive of 1-minute devotions about The Life of Joseph.

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