Combine self-esteem philosophy with culture's false definition of love and add the promotion of boundaries estrangements and you understand why so many people in our present culture are moving toward self-centered, self-indulgent lifestyles.
Selfishness has always been the downfall of human nature, something we should seek to overcome (Ephesians 4:19-24). Yet many modern teachings, even those defined as “Christian” are promoting this self-centered narcissistic gospel.
Scripture warns of this in 2 Timothy 3:1-5:
“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.”
The only way to avoid selfish teachings is to judge all teachings with Scripture.
God teaches that self-denial is the key to healthy Christian faith, not self-esteem:
“Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.’” Matthew 16:24-25
We're to “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit” refusing to think of ourselves too highly (Philippians 2:3-4; Romans 12:3).
When we focus on esteeming God, we understand our value is in Christ, not the world.
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For more on this subject, check out The Dangers of Self-Love and see the Bite Size Bible Study for full text Scriptures, additional insights and applications.
Bible Love Notes
Narcissistic bebavor has been very much been excepted in Christianity. I have personal studied, lived with and worshiped with a few people, provefessing to be a christain and finding nothing wrong with this behavior. When confronted,the most commin response is "We are supposed to love one another and over look each others faults". This in itself is very desturbing to me. If we can not be held accountable for the behaviors that hurt others,then how can we expect others to be any different. I definitely have my iwn crosses to bare, but i continually pray for everyone struggling with this sickness, believer or not.
ReplyDeleteI believe it!!! I live with it everyday! Thank you. How does one accept and deal with it and not get sick over being treated badly and that person having everyone believe I'm doing the wrong?
ReplyDeleteGood question, Deb. We can't change the sins of other people, but we can always "move in the opposite spirit." By that I mean we can live biblically even when those around us are living narcissistic lives. We shouldn't allow them to use or abuse us, but we can respond to their rudeness with kindness and consideration.
DeleteI recently dealt with a woman who completely fit the narcissistic mind set. She saw no problem acting rude and childish toward me and others, pouting, saying snarky things, selfishly expecting us to do what she wanted without consideration for the feelings or desires of others. I endured her behavior and forgave her and continued to treat her kindly and be an example to her.
But then she became especially rude toward me. Perhaps she was jealous. I'm not sure. But she repeatedly accused me of doing things I hadn't done and claimed I was intentionally trying to embarrass her or hurt her, which was not even a tiny bit true.
At that point, I felt the Lord prompted me to kindly explain that she was judging me more harshly than she was judging herself, but she didn't respond. She pretty much excused everything she'd done.
Since she is involved in some of the same Christian groups, I've continued to treat her kindly. I've made sure that I forgive her and treat her with consideration, but I avoid being with her more than necessary. And true to her narcissistic problems, she treats me coldly because she is unwilling to honestly admit her rude behavior and critical spirit.
If she were a family member, I would take additional steps to get along, but she is not a family member, so I feel like the Lord just wants me to avoid her.
My bf is a narcissist he belittles me and when I try to give him advise he said I'm putting him down. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells all the time. I'm the one that says sorry all the time just to keep the peace. The Lord has blessed ���� me with peace though I just can't handle being belitted. I love him.
ReplyDeleteDear Gail, I would strongly advise you to get some Christian counseling in regard to your relationship with your boyfriend. It doesn't sound healthy.
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