I rarely hear "love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:30-31) without someone quickly adding, "but you can't love others until you first love yourself."
Sadly, even though this principle isn't found in this or any passage of Scripture, it's fully embraced by many Christians.
Mark 12:31 doesn't command us to esteem our neighbor or have warm feelings toward him. It commands us to treat him with the same kindness and consideration we instinctively show ourselves. That means we help him up if he falls down, we feed him if he has no food, we treat him as we'd want any neighbor or stranger to treat us.
It has nothing to do with thinking highly of our neighbor or highly of ourselves. That's why we can even "love" our enemies (Matthew 5:44).
Christianity is about putting God and others first, not putting ourselves first. And focusing on others is actually one of the most effective ways to overcome our own insecurities. (See Beatin' the Blues)
Philippians 2:3-4 sums it up this way: "In humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."
"Loving ourselves first" appeals to our fallen human nature but it has no foundation in Scripture. Instead, we're told to have a realistic view of ourselves based on how we are living out our faith (Romans 12:3).
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This loving-self belief is one of the Trojan Horse Enemies affecting the church. If you want to study more Scriptures related to self-love, check out my Self-Esteem Posts. You can do a 5-minute Bite Size Bible Study on this devotion HERE.
A Christian psychologist that I recently heard speak at a ladies' conference requires her clients who are unemployed due to depression and anxiety to... get this... volunteer 40 hours a week. I about fell out of my chair! I thought I had misunderstood her, that maybe she said 4 or 14, but nope! She said 40. Her clients return to a productive life much more quickly than average.
ReplyDeleteActually, this comment was supposed to go on "Beatin' the Blues". Oops!
DeleteThanks for sharing this fact, Joanne. I think it's a great confirmation of this truth.
DeleteBless you,
Gail
This is soooo true. Thanks for putting it out there. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Deb.
DeleteBless you,
Gail
Help, I'm stuck! I'm married for the second time. Both of my marriages are/were "unbalanced." This is hard to put in writing without going into the whole story, but the common way of describing my situation is codependency. Does the Bible say anything about this problem, or is it ok to let myself be treated like a doormat?
ReplyDeleteHi Diane, Being treated like a doormat is never appropriate. The hard part is resolving the situation as it can be multi-layered. I suggest you find a Christian woman or Christian couple in your church who have a good marriage and can guide you through this difficulty with prayer, advice and encouragement. I pray God will give you restoration and joy in your marriage.
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