One key to a successful marriage is friendship. We typically start out as good friends before marriage, but the demands of life can push friendship in the background as years go by. Here’s some things that have helped my husband and I become better friends throughout the years:
1. Talk together every day.
My husband isn’t quiet, but neither is he one who often shares his feelings. I’ve learned I have to draw him out at times and really listen to what he says. I need to remember to follow James 1:19 with him.
2. Find mutual interests.
Here are some things my husband and I have done/do:
- There was a time when my husband and I played a game of UpWord every time he came home for lunch. It was our friendly competition.
- For the last 20 years, my husband and I have read books aloud together. Usually he does the reading and I listen. We’ve read Grisham novels, the Midford Series, and even classics like The Count of Monte Cristo. There’s something special about sharing a good story. (We’ve tried reading teaching books together, but haven’t found as much pleasure in that. So we typically read those separately)
- We travel and explore together… When we are in Budapest (where we do Christian work part of each year), we take walks to discover new areas of the city. And we love to travel together.
Healthy marriages typically include goodhearted teasing and even some private jokes.
4. Show affection regularly, not just during times of intimacy. I love to take my husband’s hand when we walk.
5. Be polite to each other (Ephesians 4:29-32).
It’s easy to take each other for granted, but my husband and I try to say please and thank-you and ask things of each other, not command them.
Like every good friendship, your marriage relationship needs to be improved and developed. How are you a good girlfriend to your husband? Leave a comment so we all can benefit from your ideas.
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Good reminders! I struggle with remembering to be polite & quick to listen when I'm busy, flustered, and overwhelmed with some project (even cooking dinner, sometimes!!). He needs attention too!
ReplyDeleteKristen @ Trial and Error Homemaking
I LOVE my dear, sweet husband of 30 years. We take the time every evening after dinner to go sit out on one of our three swings and just be together, talking and holding hands. We also take that time to pray together.
ReplyDelete(visiting from Ann V. place)
wonderful ways to connect, Kristin!
DeleteTime with our best friend (our husband) is an investment for our futures as well as for our children's futures!
ReplyDeleteLove this!!
Congrats on guest posting on The Alabaster Jar!
Amen...friendship is an investment that pays great dividends.
DeleteJust the title of this caught my attention and made me think. What great inspiration to try and put that little effort in and be as sweet and loving to each other as we were when we were first dating (and still trying to impress each other!) It's too easy to take marriage for granted but it's really the little things that are so important. Thank you for sharing!!
ReplyDeleteYou're so right...It's a good thing to remember how it was at first and seek to have some of the same attitudes toward each other.
DeleteRemembering to be polite is where I struggle most probably. My hubby typically comes home at the end of the day, after I've been home all day with the kiddos and struggled with them. I'm tired, he's tired and the politeness seems to leave me. I am doing my best to ensure I look nice when he gets home, kiss and hug and that at least sets the tone! :) Thanks for sharing today! Stoppin by from simplyhelpinghim.com
ReplyDeleteI think this is something most of us have to work at. It's much easier to drop the pleases and thank-yous. But it sounds like you are doing some neat things to make your husband feel special. Keep it up!
DeleteGail...Excellent tips! One of my favorite is when we laugh together because I love to laugh. ;o) Thank you for linking up at WJIM this week.
ReplyDeleteYou know, laughter is such a gift from God. It even has healing effects. A Merry heart is truly good medicine! : )
DeleteThat is such good advice! :) Some of these I do, but a lot I need to do even more! Be blessed! Lauren, lholmes79.wordpress.com
ReplyDeleteI didn't link from my email like I usually do!! Your title caught my eye as I scanned the thumbprints (thumbnails? forgot!) on FAR's blog. Then YOUR page opened and I was thrilled to read your post. These are wonderful tips as my husband and I are at the point where some have moved out and some are still home. The hectic days are over (most of the time ;-) and there is more time to rebuild the friendship part that suffers some while raising children.
ReplyDeleteHi Gail,
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you. I'm popping over from Ann's link up. Thank you for your focus on building strong marriages. That is my heart too. Your advice to be polite especially resonated with me tonight. It's so easy to rush our words or attitudes, isn't it? Thanks for the reminder for grace, respect, and politeness.
Have a great week.
Jennifer Dougan
www,jenniferdougan.com
Amen.
ReplyDeleteLove this! My husband and I love reading a good story aloud together. We, too, tried the teaching books, but didn't find them as appealing together. Thanks for sharing! These are great tips!
ReplyDeleteGood tips! We used to read together, but it fell by the wayside after we had kids. Perhaps we should start again!
ReplyDeleteI'm new here, visiting from the Better Mom linkup. Hi!
ReplyDeleteThanks for these sweet, simple but powerful ideas. Being deliberate in our marriage has made all the difference!
Wonderful reminders. Thank you so much for linking up to Domestically Divine.
ReplyDeleteGreat ideas! My husband and I read the Bible together after our daughter goes to bed. It's a great way to unwind after a busy and stressful day! :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post! This is something I am actively working on with my husband. We have neglected "dating" in our marriage and we are working on correcting that. Thanks for helpful tips!
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
~Heather @ourcultivatedlife
These are great - and we definitely need to date more! Visiting from TPT.
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ReplyDeleteSince we have six children, TIME is something that we have very little of for cultivating our relationship. It can be frustrating at times. One of the things that I started doing recently is putting notes in the pockets of his shirts after ironing them. Some of them are purchased notes (fron DaySpring) that say things like "I appreciate you." Others are scripture verses that I thought might encourage him. Once I wrote "You're too sexy for your shirt, too sexy for your shirt..." (the lyrics of a weird song). I think he likes the notes. He leaves them in his pocket all day so I did not even know if he knew they were there and I asked. He said that he reads them then puts them back into the pocket.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the good suggestions in this post.
Latisha
confessionsofamartha.blogspot.com
Sounds like you have come up with a great way to be a "girlfriend" during a busy time of your life. I love the "too sexy for your shirt" note...how fun...I bet that made him smile all day. Very cute!
DeleteMy husband has opened my car door & kissed me before closing it for 18 yrs. faithfully.We both feel we can't outdo each other. He is my best friend and there is nothing I would'nt do for him. I feel very blessed.
ReplyDeleteThis was wonderful! I'm going to be featuring this post for Matrimonial Monday tomorrow. If you can grab our button & add it to your linky page that would be much appreciated! I've enjoyed perusing your site. I absolutely love the idea of the 1 minute devotional. Great idea!!
ReplyDeleteKelly @ Exceptionalistic.com
what a great post! This has reminded me to "Listen" completely before jumping to a quick overheated reaction. I love my husband, he is my best friend, and I need to remember to treat him as well I as would someone else like a church member.
ReplyDeleteGlad it was helpful, Londa.
DeleteBless you!
Gail