Do you enjoy your spouse? I'm not asking if you love him. I'm asking if you enjoy him.
There's a difference you know. We can love someone without really enjoying them. But being loved and enjoyed is so much better.
Why do so many couples lose this enjoyment?
1. One cause is bitterness.
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ~ Colossians 3:13
💙 Take time today to pray through any past hurts and ask God's help in completely forgiving your spouse.
2. People also lose enjoyment in their spouse because they quit developing their friendship.
No matter how long you've been married, I encourage you to plan fun activities together. Take time for laughter and conversation.
A cheerful heart is good medicine ~ Proverbs 17:22
It may seem like a small thing, but my husband and I have a "secret signal" that means "I love you." Sometimes when we're in a crowd, we signal each other. It's something special between the two of us.
💙 When was the last time you did something just for fun with your spouse? When was the last you had a meaningful conversation?
See 5 Ways to be you Husband's Girlfriend.
3. Couples also lose enjoyment because they become critical instead of encouraging.
A critical spirit spills over into every area of life, making us less polite and less loving.
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ~ Ephesians 4:29
💙 When was the last time you gave your spouse a sincere compliment? How often do you use the words please and thank you with your spouse?
See A Little Politeness Goes a Long Way.
If you long to be enjoyed by your spouse, start by enjoying him and you might be surprised how quickly your enjoyment is returned.
If you're feeling negative about your spouse and find it hard to enjoy him, try this:
It may seem like a small thing, but my husband and I have a "secret signal" that means "I love you." Sometimes when we're in a crowd, we signal each other. It's something special between the two of us.
💙 When was the last time you did something just for fun with your spouse? When was the last you had a meaningful conversation?
3. Couples also lose enjoyment because they become critical instead of encouraging.
A critical spirit spills over into every area of life, making us less polite and less loving.
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ~ Ephesians 4:29
💙 When was the last time you gave your spouse a sincere compliment? How often do you use the words please and thank you with your spouse?
See A Little Politeness Goes a Long Way.
If you long to be enjoyed by your spouse, start by enjoying him and you might be surprised how quickly your enjoyment is returned.
If you're feeling negative about your spouse and find it hard to enjoy him, try this:
God Enjoys Us And He wants us to enjoy each other (Zephaniah 3:17).
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This is wonderful Gail! I love the "homework." After all, if we totally focused on the good qualities of those we loved each day, we would totally surrender those negative qualities to God and not dwell on them!
ReplyDeleteAlso love your secret signal. My husband and I have one of those and have had it our entire married life. It means "I love you."
It's just a fun private way for only the two of us to share our love.
When the kids were little I also made up an "I love you" signal for them too!
Oooops. Was so involved in my comment that I forgot to say thank you so much for linking up to "Making Your Home Sing Monday" today!
DeleteI've found that the element of humor often increases our enjoyment of each other. Otherwise, life's just too serious! One day he found a plastic cockroach and put it on the bar of soap in my shower. After I recovered, the game was afoot! I put it on top of his clock radio so he'd feel it when he set his alarm. The next day he put it in the sugar canister so I'd see it when I spooned out sugar for my tea. . . the fun and elements of surprise added to our enjoyment of each other that month. . . might be time to dig out the cockroach again :)
ReplyDeleteGreat reminder! I will try to enjoy my hubby more this week:)
ReplyDeleteVisiting form Pint-sized Treasures
Great suggestions, Gail. My husband and I have one signal that we use to convey our love, but I think, after reading your words here about your sweet husband's actions, I want to come up with some more. It really is important to make our spouses feel loved and special, and I need to work on this more in my marriage. Very inspiring!
ReplyDeleteGail! I love the secret signal suggestion! And alliteration, apparently! Getting inspired to focus on my marriage this week.
ReplyDeleteI loved this post! The idea of secret signals is so appealing! Don't you think sometimes people fall into temptation because they are drawn into the excitement of a "secret relationship." It is like an adventure and brings excitement into their days at a time when they may be bored or in a rut. Great Concept to look for ways to bring surprise, secrets, excitment, enjoyment, etc. into our relationship with our husbands!
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up for Marriage Monday!
Thanks for the little chuckle! I am single, yet but I want to enjoy my husband when the day comes. And be silly, laugh, have secret signals. Thanks for the inspiration :)
ReplyDeleteWise words, sweet lady! Thank you for sharing. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Gail, my husband and I have signals and "looks". We also share a sense of humor together and sometimes banter back and forth in a playful way. We enjoy each other's company and are very comfortable together. After almost 25 years of marriage, he can still make me laugh.
ReplyDeletesounds like you enjoy each other for sure : )
DeleteGail