In my 70+ years of life, I've done my share of giving opinions. And I've done it wrong many times. Since I became a blogger in 2011, I've seen how hurtful and inappropriate comments can be when people write before they think or write in a way they'd never speak to someone in person.
1. Give the writer the benefit of the doubt (1 Corinthians 13:4-6). Don't assume he/she means something they haven't stated.
2. Treat the writer the way you want to be treated (Luke 6:31). Think of how you would feel if you got this comment in a personal letter from a friend.
3. Share the truth in love, framing your words as kindly as possible (Proverbs 15:1; Ephesians 4:15).
4. Only comment after you've examined your own motives, attitudes, and words (Matthew 7:1-5). Are you angry? Then wait until you can write without anger or resentment. Or don't comment at all.
5. Don't discredit the author's character ("You're unloving, unkind, rude, mean, a Pharisee, etc."). Talk about what she wrote, not her. Read more about this rude form of argumentation called Ad Hominem.
6. Refrain from repetitive, argumentative comments on the same post (2 Timothy 2:24). Once you've thoughtfully stated your objections, leave it alone. Don't get a back-and-forth going just to add other details or address other comments that disagree with yours.
7. Don't repeatedly leave negative comments on a particular blog, Facebook page, or website. It probably means you and the author have different beliefs, so quit visiting his/her site/page (Proverbs 3:30).
8. Don't leave comments debating doctrinal differences unless the site welcomes this type of debate. For example, don't correct an author if she doesn't adhere to your brand of Calvinism, your view of healing, or your standards of modesty (Romans 14; Differences). If her differences are within the realm of Bible-believing Christians, leave it alone. Those subjects have been debated by sincere believers for thousands of years. If a non-essential doctrine is that important to you, stick to blogs that believe exactly as you believe.
9. Don't use ALL CAPS unless you want to emphasize a positive point. All caps in a negative comment is like yelling in the author's face. Let your format, punctuation, and words be kind.
We all know how rude comments make us feel, so let's be Christians when we comment and make the internet a kinder place.
Great, great tips! Thank you so much! I love this wonderful blog! Wow! Such helpful, positive rich information and scriptural references too! Thank you for visiting my blog and joining! You are a blessing! Linda @ Grandmalay's Daydreams
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more. When we receive negative blog comments, we try our best to answer kindly but it's easy to see how words can hurt. And we are responsible for them whether we type them or say them! Thanks for the good tips.
ReplyDeleteGreat tips! I've been guilty of not following these.
ReplyDeleteAMEN! Everyone needs to read this list and adhere to it.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the beautiful loving way you have made us all aware of to treat one another on the web. Sort of web etiquette! I always say if you cannot be kind in any response even of you disagree, rather zip the lip!!
ReplyDeleteBlessings
Mia
This is such a great reminder for me. Thanks for the post!
ReplyDeleteLove this post! If I was still on Facebook, I'd post it there but Ironically got off of it because people can be so rude on line! Bless you.
ReplyDeleteSo needed! Such great wisdom, to focus on the "majors" in Christianity (the big things that determine salvation)...not on the "minors", (the little atrociousness that only add to believers division). Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeletePoints well taken!
ReplyDeleteI've been blessed not have many (if any) negative comments left on my blog--I don't think I'm popular enough to attractive that kind of notice! But I've seen some on some of the blogs I visit. I think this often about some of the things that I see posted on facebook, as well. Good points, all of these!
ReplyDeleteI came over here from Live Called. I am so glad I did. I think that people hide behind the internet and say things they would never say in person. It is so wrong. We are supposed to take our light with us where ever we go. Even if the person cannot see us, it doesn't matter. Our light should come through in our comments. Bless you for tackeling a hard subject.
ReplyDeleteThese are a great list of guidelines. I hope many people read them and take them to heart! The blogging world would be a kinder, gentler place as a result.
ReplyDeleteThe sixth point about not returning to the same blog to continue the debate or to address other comments disagreeing with you is one I certainly learned through the last few years of blogging! I used to always have to have the last word. Now I just let it go. Even on my own blogs, which is where, I'm afraid I displayed this the worst!
ReplyDeleteThank God for living and learning!!!
(I found you via the Wise Woman Link-Up. So glad I stopped by!)
Good advice - thanks for sharing these thoughts! I also appreciated your first paragraph, for I, too, have learned over the years some of the same things that you have. Thanks for your transparency, and for your encouraging words.
ReplyDeleteA good reminder, Gail. We're sisters. "Mercy over judgement."
ReplyDeleteAnd here we thought the days of Nero's Rome were gone - but even so, those brutes were pagans!
ReplyDeleteAs a Catholic, I find beautiful inspiration in your blog - wisdom, peace, encouragement, and glory directed to the one God we all share.
It is heartwarming to sometimes see mention of a Catholic saint, such as Mother Theresa. See? Most of us children of God get along just fine!
Hi J,
DeleteYes, sometimes we behave as if we were fighting in an arena, don't we?
: )
I love my Catholic sisters and have great respect for Mother Theresa as well as many other Catholic saints--Thomas à Kempis, St. Francis of Assisi, etc.
Thank you for your kind compliments.
Gail, this should be a pop-up warning anytime we get on the web! I've braced myself for ugly comments from the well-meaning and thus far I have been blessed with the kindness of readers. Comments I've read on other blogs can be so cruel and heartless - from fellow brothers and sisters in Christ! It is a beautifully practical and kindly worded post. Thank you. www.4iampersuaded.com
ReplyDeleteGail, beautiful reminders! Yes we do need to remember to love one another with our words don't we? Thanks for linking with us :)
ReplyDeleteI love this post - seriously.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog, and I'm headed to subscribe now. I need to read more blogs like yours.
Rebekah
Great tips, Gail. My thought is if the comment isn't encouraging, don't make it. :-) I hope that I've never posted a comment that offends -- It is always important to double read comments to make sure. I admit that occasionally, I've left a comment without much "meat" to it, and your post above is a great reminder not to do that either.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Joan
Gail, I love that you put this out. We should only be leaving helpful comments and words of love or genuine questions. I pray many will read this and take something away.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Mercy over judgement. Needed that one today!
ReplyDeleteReally enjoy your posts and when it's early morning and I dont feel like even sitting up in bed yet to hold a devotional book or even the Bible, I come here to get a boost to start my day with God in mind amd in my heart.
Please keep strong and I will continue to look forward to your wisdom penned with grace.
Julia
So true! Good advice for us all.💕
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ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this article in Bible Love Notes today. I read it and looked up all the scripture passages. I feel like we can take it a step further in our daily lives by remembering these tips in our speech to others, as well. If we would just think things through before speaking, we can eliminate a lot of hurt. Thanks so much for this, Gail.
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